Social Capital: Why It Matters and Four Strategies for Success

Social capital is like muscles. It is easier to build them when you are young. People who do not prioritize building these start losing them around mid-life. This process accelerates around 60. The lack of muscles and loneliness can destroy our physical and mental health in the 70s and 80s. This article reviews the importance of social capital and provides four strategies for building and maintaining it.

One in Four Adults Starve for Social Connections

Contact craving, a phenomenon studied by MIT researchers and published in Nature Neuroscience, highlights the profound impact of social capital on us. Neuroimaging revealed that the brain’s midbrain regions show selective activation in response to social cues following isolation, mirroring the brain’s reaction to food cues after fasting. This similarity underscores the fundamental human need for social connection, equating its importance to survival mechanisms like hunger.¹

Social relationships act as a protective buffer against life’s challenges. They provide emotional support that can mitigate negative outcomes and promote resilience.

“In the face of life’s challenges, having a close friend to turn to seems to be a buffer or protective factor against some of the negative outcomes we might otherwise see,” said Catherine Bagwell, PhD, a professor of psychology at Davidson College in North Carolina”.²

Contrarily, the absence of such connections poses significant risks.

“Lacking social connection carries a risk that is comparable, and in many cases, exceeds that of other well-accepted risk factors, including smoking up to 15 cigarettes per day, obesity, physical inactivity, and air pollution. Being connected to others socially is widely considered a fundamental human need — crucial to well-being and survival. Extreme examples show infants in custodial care who lack human contact fail to thrive and often die, and indeed, social isolation or solitary confinement has been used as a form of punishment.” said Julianne Holt-Lunstad, PhD, professor of psychology at Brigham Young University.³

Unfortunately, we live in a society where loneliness and age segregation are widespread. The World Health Organization has identified social isolation and loneliness as major public health concerns affecting individuals of all ages. These conditions are associated with heightened risks of premature mortality, mental health disorders, and physical diseases. The World Health Organization has identified one in four older adults experiencing social isolation and up to 15% of adolescents reporting feelings of loneliness.⁴

Four Strategies to Build and Preserve Social Bonds

Jeffrey Hall, an Associate Professor of Communication Studies at the University of Kansas, researched the time investment required to develop friendships. His study, published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, found that it takes approximately 50 hours of shared time to transition from acquaintances to casual friends, 90 hours to become friends, and over 200 hours to become close friends. ⁵

Where can we find these hours in our busy schedules? Our answers are through work, business, shared living, and thorough work on building our social pipelines.

Never Retire to Preserve to Enhance Your Social Capital

Kevin O’Leary, famously known as “Mr. Wonderful” from Shark Tank, retired in his mid-30s after selling his company for $4.2 billion. He spent three years travelling the world’s most beautiful beaches, only to discover he missed the social connection, purpose, and mental stimulation that work provides. “I like competing. I love being in the race,” he explains. For O’Leary, engaging with people, solving problems, and thinking critically keeps the mind sharp and combats the social isolation and aimlessness often experienced by retirees without meaningful pursuits.

Julie Wainwright, entrepreneur and founder of The RealReal, shares a similar perspective:

“I don’t understand retirement as a concept. It seems unhealthy to slow down, do less, and remove challenges. It doesn’t make sense to me, and I’m not alone.”

Indeed, she’s in good company. Bill Gates has remarked that retirement “sounds awful.” Six out of ten people running for the U.S. presidency are 65 or older, with the most recent presidents elected at ages 77 and 78. These individuals work not for money but for purpose, engagement, and fulfillment. Icons like Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jane Fonda, Arianna Huffington, Vera Wang, and Betty White have also remained actively involved through creative work, advocacy, and inspiring others.

The trend is backed by data. According to the Pew Research Center, the number of people working past 65 has quadrupled since the 1980s. Today’s older workers are better educated and healthier than past generations, enabling them to thrive in evolving workplaces. Jobs have also become less physically demanding, offering flexibility, independence, and opportunities for remote work, better fitting individual preferences, preferences and lifestyles. ⁶

Owning a business or starting a side hustle is another way to transcend traditional retirement boundaries. Building a business involves constant networking, from reaching out to potential clients to connecting with partners, vendors, and other entrepreneurs. Each interaction opens the door to various relationships, creating a diverse network that can build your social capital.

It’s never too late to start. Natasha Josefowitz, a best-selling author, published her first book in her early fifties, and after that, she spent decades travelling, meeting world leaders, and continuing her work well into her later years. Her passion kept her engaged and connected until her final days.

Work, whether through employment or entrepreneurship, lays a foundation for a vibrant, connected social life. Meaningful workplaces foster strong, diverse networks by bringing together individuals from varied backgrounds, perspectives, and experiences. Unlike many social settings, workplaces tend to be less divided by age, gender, or other demographics, creating inclusive and enriching environments. Even remote work offers social opportunities, from virtual chats to team collaborations. These interactions play a significant role in fostering a sense of belonging, connection, and camaraderie.

Rediscover Joy and Connection Through Shared Living

After separating from his wife, 72-year-old David McGinnis from Kitchener, Ontario, faced a difficult choice: sell the home he had lived in for over two decades or rent it out. Opting to rent, he welcomed four international students from South Korea, Trinidad and Tobago, Ecuador, and Mexico into his home. What began as a practical solution quickly evolved into a deep bond.⁷

“It’s been wonderful. They are intelligent and compassionate people. I feel like I have four new friends,” McGinnis shared.

McGinnis includes them in family gatherings, such as Christmas and Easter celebrations. He decorated his walls with flags from their countries and took the students on road trips to introduce them to Canada’s history and landmarks. When one of the students graduated, McGinnis attended the convocation ceremony to celebrate the milestone. Now, he looks forward to welcoming a new tenant from Colombia, finding renewed purpose and joy in his retirement years.

McGinnis’s story is not unique. Around the world, individuals and families are rediscovering the value of shared living. When the war in Ukraine broke out, many families opened their homes to refugees. For example, Christy Turner from Calgary, Alberta, invited Ukrainian guests into her home. She reflected on the experience with warmth: “Lera brought so much joy to my life and my home… now the house is full of conversation and the smells of whatever the talented Oksana is cooking for the day.”⁸

Many of these hosts are empty nesters with space to share and miss the warmth of daily conversations with their children and the laughter that once filled their homes.

Here’s a story of a meaningful connection that bridges generations. Grant Magdanz, a 30-year-old from Los Angeles, moved in with his 90-year-old grandmother, Barbara, after losing his job in New York City. Sharing her cozy apartment allowed him to focus on starting his own business and brought them closer together. For Grant, this living arrangement is about far more than practicality—it has deepened his bond with his grandmother, reconnected him to his roots, and created cherished memories that will last a lifetime.⁹

Historically, multigenerational living was common, with elders playing a central role in family life. Elders were valued for their wisdom and actively contributed to raising children and supporting households. The “grandmother hypothesis” even suggests that the evolutionary role of post-reproductive women is to help care for grandchildren, enhancing the survival of their families. However, these arrangements have become increasingly rare in today’s modern world, replaced by a growing epidemic of loneliness and family estrangement.

What can we do when we feel disconnected, abandoned, and lonely? If the traditional family structures no longer fit your situation, create your own. Surround yourself with people you trust and enjoy, and build a home founded on mutual support, diverse experiences, and meaningful connections.

Build Lasting Social Bonds Through Acts of Kindness

Hayley Arsenault was overjoyed to discover she was pregnant and ecstatic to learn she would give birth to triplets. But being a new mom is already a monumental challenge—being a mom to triplets multiplies that challenge threefold. To make matters even more daunting, Hayley faced this as a single mother. Overwhelmed, she reached out for help on Facebook and was met with an outpouring of support from her community. Among the responders were three retired sisters—Jenny, Alice, and Anita—who had never met Hayley before but began visiting regularly to assist with the babies and household chores.

Anita described the experience beautifully: “For me, it’s a gift to come here. We chat, we compare the babies. I love every minute of it.”

Helping Hayley also brought the sisters closer together, giving them a reason to see each other regularly. The arrangement was a win-win: Hayley got her support, and the sisters found renewed joy, companionship and purpose. ¹⁰

Here is another story that illustrates how helping hands can strengthen social bonds. A middle school mentorship blossomed into a lifelong friendship when Ron Schmidt, a father of five and longtime youth baseball coach, mentored eighth-grader Daylan Jernigan. Growing up in Cleveland’s Glenville community, Jernigan had limited exposure to opportunities beyond his neighbourhood. Schmidt encouraged him to consider private schools, helping him secure a shadow day and, ultimately, admission to St. Edward’s High School. Jernigan thrived, playing football and winning a state championship in 2018. Schmidt supported Jernigan at every milestone, attending his middle school, high school, and college graduations. Inspired by Schmidt, Jernigan followed his mentor’s path, becoming an auditor at PricewaterhouseCoopers. Jernigan’s mother credits Schmidt as a key figure in her son’s success, as he became the family’s first college graduate. Schmidt’s influence extended beyond academics, teaching life skills and inspiring Jernigan to mentor others through his college fraternity.¹¹

Helping others is a win-win experience that brings joy and fulfillment, even without the added benefit of deepened social bonds. Helping others triggers the release of feel-good chemicals such as endorphins, oxytocin, serotonin, and dopamine, creating a phenomenon known as the “helper’s high.” This natural mood boost enhances overall well-being and happiness. Helping others often aligns with activities we enjoy or excel at, making the process enjoyable and rewarding. For some, like the three sisters assisting a single mom with triplets, helping can be a source of fun and satisfaction. It can lead to profound connections, as seen with Ron Schmidt and Daylan Jernigan, whose mentorship evolved into a lifelong friendship. Whether through small acts of kindness or significant efforts, helping others is a sure way to foster positivity, create lasting emotional rewards, and build social capital.

Create a Social Pipeline to Sustain Your Circle of Friends

If you don’t have time to help others or aren’t interested in building your social capital through work, business, or shared living, there’s another effective strategy: build a social pipeline. This approach focuses on cultivating relationships across varying levels of closeness, ensuring your social network remains active, diverse, and rewarding.

Shasta Nelson, a leading expert on social relationships and author of The Business of Friendship: Making the Most of the Relationships Where We Spend Most of Our Time, introduced the concept of the five circles of friendship, which represent varying levels of closeness:

Contact Friends: Initial acquaintances with whom we have casual interactions.

Common Friends: People with shared activities or interests without deeper engagement.

Confirmed Friends: Relationships based on trust and consistency but not deep emotional vulnerability.

Community Friends: Close friends who form part of your trusted social group.

Committed Friends: The closest, most intimate friendships built on deep trust and emotional support.

These circles represent the progression from casual acquaintances to deeply committed relationships. Friendships within this framework are dynamic. Friends may move up or down the circles depending on circumstances, while others remain in the same position. Understanding and nurturing these shifts is essential to maintaining a vibrant social life.

Focus on the outermost circle to enrich your social capital: contact friends. These are what sociologist Mark Granovetter calls “weak ties,” such as acquaintances, coworkers, friends of friends, professional connections, or former classmates. Granovetter’s research highlights that weak ties are often more beneficial than strong ties (close friends and family) for discovering new opportunities, such as jobs, ideas, or perspectives. Weak ties bridge you to diverse social circles outside your immediate network, granting you access to information and possibilities you wouldn’t encounter otherwise. Relationships with weak ties are typically lighthearted, enjoyable, and easy to maintain, as they don’t involve deep emotional investment. ¹²

To build and maintain your pipeline of weak ties, start with consistent, low-effort outreach. Keep the connections alive by liking their social media posts, sending quick messages, asking casual questions, or congratulating them on achievements and milestones. These small, consistent actions keep your presence in their lives, ensuring the relationship doesn’t fade.

The next step is identifying opportunities to move selected weak ties up the friendship ladder. Find shared interests, hobbies, or activities to deepen the bond. These interactions can gradually elevate a weak tie into a stronger, more meaningful connection through a shared project, a casual coffee meet-up, or a collaborative venture.

By keeping your pipeline of friendships active and intentional, you’ll cultivate a network that enriches your social life and provides a constant flow of new opportunities and support.